Cut along the fat lines? Brilliance!
What the video.
You'd think I would have thought of that given my anatomical background, but I didn't. Not once. Ever. I cut this one up in roughly 8 minutes even without my kitchen shears (they were in the dishwasher and unavailable). I was so proud of myself I took a picture. Never in my life did I think I would take a beauty shot of raw chicken, but I totally did.