Goal 1

I just got off the phone with my life coach. It seriously is the most amazing thing in the whole world. I'm really excited, and a little scared, but mostly excited. I have to am going to come up with five SMART goals by next week. SMART goals being Specific, Measurable, Accountable, Resonant, Thrilling goals.

I already have one down which is to spend 10 minutes being in my emotions every day. Are you thinking to yourself that sounds silly? You probably are and I might, but I don't care. (Doing silly things honors Levity, the value I spent the last two week nurturing, and doing what I want without worrying about what other people think is part of Self Determination which is also one of my values so I'm honoring that too. Go me!) You might also be asking yourself why, or maybe that's why you thought it sounded silly. How can you not be in your emotions? Very easily. I said (without forethought), "I have way too much going on right now to feel my emotions. I can be pissed, or upset, or whatever later. Right now, I need to get this shit done." Interesting how when you just talk without thinking you say things that are really informative about your mental state.

So, I will be spending 10 minutes a day being in my emotions. That's pretty Specific and time is Measurable. I'm texting my coach to let her know I did it so it's Accountable. It pretty much is Presence so its definitely Resonates with one of my core values. And it's Thrilling because quite frankly the idea of being in my emotions for ten whole minutes scares the piss out of me. Ten whole minutes? Jesus, I haven't spent more than like two seconds focusing on any emotions in a while. Ignoring them is much easier. My shoulders are tensing up a little just thinking about it, but I can do it and it will not be nearly as scary to experience as it sounds. Most things aren't.

Do other people have these thought patterns?

Today I was outside with the dogs and Kleio was off leash. She gets to go without one because she actually responds to voice commands as opposed to Ajax.

He only seems to be able to think about one thing at any given time and if he sees or smells a squirrel, or a cat, or a rabbit, or a deer, or pretty much anything his ears quit working and if he catches me off guard and I don't have a firm grip on the leash he promptly runs off into the woods. He doesn't come back and I end up having to have Kleio lead me to wherever he eventually gets his leash caught. It's really frustrating and I'm just not willing to deal with it so he has a leash and she doesn't. I think Austin thinks it's unfair, but I think it's just.

I started to think about how being able to control a dog's mind is way better than  being able to control its body. Much more efficient. And that made me think about Foucault. If you're not an anthropologist or social theorist, or reader of esoteric texts, he's this French guy who wrote a little book called Discipline and Punish. If you've never read it because it sounds boring (which, I agree, it does) I highly recommend at least the first couple of pages in which he describes in graphic detail a man being hung, drawn, and quartered.

Here's a little synopsis I wrote up years ago for a theory course. Please refrain from any derisive comments on it. I barely even a graduate student at the time.  

          In Discipline and Punish Foucault seeks to explicate the development of the prison system and its replacement of public torture as part of a greater process of increasing institutional power. This power stems largely from the production and control of knowledge. The shift between torture and imprisonment is the result of a need for punishment to be more effective, not an increased concern for the humanity of criminal penalty.  There is a Weberian rationality behind the introduction of the prison system. By eliminating punishment from direct view, it shifts into the “abstract consciousness” (Foucault 1995: 9) where it functions much more efficiently to control the populace than military force ever could. Punishment is both a “complex social function” and a “political tactic” (Foucault 1995: 23). Hegemony allows politicians and institutions to control the populace much more effectively by means of the “chain of their own ideas” (Foucault 1995: 102-103) than could ever be achieved through violent force. Discipline works because of the accepted inequality in control of knowledge between those disciplining and those being disciplined.
          Foucault extends his discussion of the structure of inequality and relationships of power to daily life through a number of other institutions including the school, military, hospital, and factory. The purpose of discipline in all of these institutions is to create “docile bodies” which are more readily utilized by those in more powerful classes. The penitentiary system and other social institutions provide a setting for the bourgeoisie to produce fully subjected proletariats. In this conceptualization, Marx’s influence on Foucault is evident. Foucault’s ideas have social and economical implications in controlling crime and labor. In terms of policy, they demarcate why the prison system endures although it is continually subjected to criticism and reform.

So I guess both are leashed, Kleio by a chain of her own ideas and Ajax by a an actual leash. Pretty sure that's not what Foucault was thinking about, but this is the kind of thing that goes through my mind almost every day. 

Remember those countertops?

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I was headed out to help my mom resurface her countertops. I've been meaning to post the pictures ever since, but I've been a little busy getting a Ph.D. and all. I know you've been anxiously awaiting them.

We used a Gianni Granite Paint for countertops in Sicilian sand.

Before we could start with the process we needed to remove the previous resurfacing. It did really well considering the conditions it experienced. Really, really well actually. It took an entire day of effort to get the previous surface removed, cleaned, and ready to begin the resurfacing process.

 

We finally got them cleaned and taped around the outlets and woodwork.

Before we quit for the day we put on the primer. It needs 8 hours to dry before the "mineral paint" is applied so I think doing it at night is a good idea.

The next morning we started the fun part. The standard process has three paint colors.

After more like 17 layers and a couple of tense hours we came up with this. It includes the three included colors, copper, a mustard yellow and burnt sienna acrylic paint.

 

After that, all it took was a trip to Alco and a near miracle involving my mom's next door neighbor to obtain enough burnt sienna to finish the project. 

Pretty fabulous, huh?

There is a top coat that goes over the paint layers, but the paint needs to dry for an extended period if you use acrylic paint and want to wet sand the surface (my mom really likes a smooth surface) before topcoating. You can top coat after 4 hours with the standard process. I had to head home before we could get to that step so we'll have to wait until my mom sends me the photos.